Stanford the unlicensed chiropractor
by WarmDogFur
Summary: It's some lazy stancest, yes.


**So I've been salvaging stuff from my old computer.**

 **I wrote this in April 2016 while I was waiting for the Internet guy to come do Internet things.**

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"Let's get this over with…" Stanley muttered with a grunt. He was still thinking about how his brother convinced him to do this. Stanford told him that he couldn't swear in front of the kids, and after discovering that the root of the problem was his twin's back pain, he offered himself to put an end to it.

Now that their grandnieces were somewhere with Soos, Wendy and Mabel's friends was the perfect time to proceed.

"So… how are we doing this?" Stan asked unsure, sitting on the edge of his own bed.

Ford stood in front of him, taking a look around his brother's room. He still had that picture from the day they started their boxing lessons. Huh. "First I need you to get undressed." He answered absentmindedly as he took a bottle out of one of his trench coat's pockets.

"Come again?" Stan inquired again, both confused and annoyed at this request.

"Well, if you don't like the idea I could just rub your jacket and-"

"Quit it, Sixer! It's just… that I thought you'd crack my bones or somethin' like that."

"Yes, but that comes afterwards…" Ford pronounced these words really quietly, in a tone Stan decided to ignore, because it was similar to the one he used when they were teenagers, and their hormones were raging, and they fucked each other sensele-.

After a few seconds, Stan obliged with a sigh. He unceremoniously dropped his Mr. Mystery outfit to the floor and now he was standing in his usual tank top and boxers in front of his twin.

"Well?" Ford asked before taking his trench coat off and rolling up the sleeves of his turtleneck.

"Well what?"

"Your shirt."

"My shirt what?"

Ford breathed deeply through his nose and grabbed the white bottle he brought with himself, which turned out to be moisturizer. "Take it off. I'll be working on your lower back."

"Is it really necessa-"

"Why are you so reluctant, Stanley? Do you want to do this or not?" For just a moment, Ford's stoic façade faltered and his nervousness and eagerness took over him.

"You insisted on doing this!" Stan replied heatedly, looking at his feet. He didn't want his twin to see how age treated him, he wanted Ford to find him… attractive? No! No, no, no! He didn't just think that! He didn't want to take his shirt off because it was stupid, and this whole thing is stupid, and-

Maybe it was that 'twin connection' everyone's heard of, but after looking at his brother's expression fixated on his toes, Ford knew what was going on in his head, and his social ineptitude did what it could to ease him. "Hey, Stan! Look at these! Aren't they gross?" He lifted his arms to show Stanley the scars that covered his forearms. What a dork.

Stan raised his gaze to find- "What the fuck, Stanford?! Oh my god, did you try to-?"

"Oh, no! No, no, no, no! Haha… uh… no. A Xydgadhir did these." Now he regretted his actions. He forgot his brother could also worry about someone else but himself, even if there was a time he forced himself to think otherwise.

Stan blinked. "A… what?"

"Never mind! Your shirt, off, now." Nervous Ford was also authoritarian Ford. "…please." No, my bad, he's still a dork.

Finally Stan obliged and lied on his stomach, and Ford practically (and carefully) jumped on his legs, having access to his twin's back. He saw the scar on his shoulder, but he something told him that commenting on it was a bad idea. They've been together for more than three minutes straight without yelling… much, and he didn't want to break the atmosphere.

"When did you learn to do this? You weren't this good with your hands in the sixties." Stan said, trying to fully relax under his brother's touch. It wasn't easy, because his mind was yelling 'TURN AROUND AND KISS HIM, AND HUG HIM, AND TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM AND YOU MISSED HIM, AND TELL HIM YOU'RE SORRY.' I guess Ford's hands had something to them besides their extra digit.

"I learnt a few things back in college..."

"Oh…"

"Yeah… I got some extra money after learning how to give massages."

"Oh!"

"What?"

"Nothing… I thought you were saying that you… enjoyed those years to the fullest." Very subtle Stanley, bravo.

"I did. I even took classes that I wasn't supposed to be taking!"

"Yeesh… what a party animal."

"Huh… did you want me to, how would you put it? Fuck everything with a pulse?"

Stan laughed at this. Stanford never was one for swearing. "Well… not really… but, uh…"

Perhaps bringing this topic up wasn't the smartest thing to do. Any mention of sex made him think of their past together, and thinking about it while the reason of his erections was on top of him gave him goosebumps.

"But…?"

Ford wasn't over them either, and to him pressing on the subject might be revealing. What if Stan still felt the same way he did?

"But… nothin'. Just… be careful down there."

"Oh… yeah, sure."

And with that, the tension came back.

Stanley realized shortly after lying down that Ford showed him his scars to show him that, just like him, he had imperfections, but that didn't make them any less perfect to each other. Complying was his way of saying 'I understand.' Twin connection, probably?

Minutes passed, and finally Ford broke the silence engulfing them. "Turn around, Stan."

Stan heard him perfectly, but he didn't do as told. Being with his bother after so long didn't only stir something inside of him, but also outside. His dick was hard as a rock and turning around could make Stanford go away.

"Uh… I'm okay, pointdexter, really. I, uh, think you healed my back! Yeah… I'm gonna stay like this so the effects can, uh…" The conman couldn't think of a good reason not to move. Shit, he could have pretended to be asleep!

"Nonsense! I was barely relaxing your muscles. Now I need to apply pressure to your sciatic nerve through the upper vertebrae and we'll be done when you hear the 'crack'." Ford stood up, giving Stan more room to move.

"Look Stanford, I'm gonna be honest… I popped a boner." Stanley pronounced these last words really low. He couldn't believe this was happening.

"…are you serious?" Ford inquired, surprised, but not in the way his brother thought. He wasn't angry or disgusted, he was somewhat pleased, and for the first time since he came back, he would let his instincts take over him.

"Yes…" Stan's embarrassment knew no limits, but a tiny part of him was also excited, thinking about what could happen if his brother-

"Turn around."

This time the words came out as a husky whisper centimeters away from his right ear.

"Ford…?" The question left his lips as a shaky mutter, and before he could turn his head, a pair of lips was drawing the silhouette of his jaw with wet kisses.

"Turn around for me, Stan."

No more hesitating. He complied. He knew what was going to happen. He wanted it. He craved it.

They NEEDED it.

Ford didn't even bother to take his twin's boxers off. He jumped on top of him again and sloppily grabbed the painfully hard cock through the little hole on the front of the underwear, slipping most of it out. He gave it two quick licks before shoving its head in his mouth, making Stan yell "HOLY FUCK SIXER."

Stan knew he wouldn't last long. He hadn't been this horny since doing this was usual for Ford and him. Those twelve fingers caressing his thighs and belly, that soft tongue rubbing against the underside of his dick, his brother's moans and grunts, Ford's sweat on his skin… Stan tried to hold back, but he felt like his entire being was about to explode.

Stanford shoved his right hand in his pants and starting jerking his own stiff dick off with a force he didn't know he had. He needed to get this out of his system, he wanted to cum, and make his brother cum, and then cum again in his brother's mouth, and then he wanted Stan to cum in his rectum, and-

"GNAAARGH! I LOVE YOU!" Stanley came, filling his twin's mouth with his warm seed. He was sweating and shaking violently, clenching and unclenching his fists; his widened eyes were trying to pierce a hole through the ceiling, and a delighted smile was adorning his expression.

The moment Stan's semen reached his mouth, Ford came as well. His own stained his pants and underwear, but he didn't care; he couldn't care about anything else but Stan right now. He swallowed every drop, enjoying the unique taste.

When he felt his body was his again, he crawled on top of Stan, finally freeing his right hand from his briefs. Ford's fingers hovered above Stan's mouth, and Stan's tongue was eager to taste his brother after so long.

After licking it clean, Stan pulled his brother into the tightest hug Ford had ever received. Two warm tears escaped his tear ducts, and his throat produced a sound that could either be a sob or a low guffaw.

"Don't you ever dare to leave me again, Sixer…" He could finally articulate.

Ford's tears mixed with Stan's, as he was in a similar state than him. "I love you too… and I won't…" He rested his head against his twin's left clavicle and sighed, unable to control his body. He didn't know if he wanted to cry, or to laugh, or anything at all. He just knew he wasn't feeling as empty as he got used to.

"Promise me… that you won't… leave again…" Stan's choked words were barely audible, but he wouldn't let Ford go. He wanted to hear from him that he would never leave him alone ever again.

"Stanley…" Ford tried to lift himself up to properly meet his brother's eyes. He wanted to see through the portal of his soul and yell that he would stay with him forever. "I will stay with you, forever." He didn't have to say anything else. He was being honest, and if Stan knew him even a little bit, he'd know he was telling the truth.

The smile that never got to fully abandon Stan's face came back, and now that lust was gone, only love rested between them. He went in for a kiss, a tender one, a simple brush on Ford's lips right when Ford spoke again. "I'll stay with you… because I don't have to go to college anymore and the present scares me shitless."

Stan pushed him off of his bed with an "ASSHOLE!", but Ford had more to say.

"Have you seen all those kids with those portable screens? I think they're mobile devices. What can they do with them? And what's a Drake? I heard Dipper talking about that the other day. Is it a plant? Anyway, leaving this house is a risk I can't take. I want you to teach me everything about what happened during my absence."

"Are you… are you kidding me?" Stan inquired in utter disbelief. Where did this come from?

"No. In fact, if my calculations are correct, the author couldn't write a decent ending and he put all those tigers there, right behind you. They're going to quarter us in a few seconds."

"Oh."

"Yes."

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 **And I guess I gave up there.**

 **Either that or the Internet guy came, I don't know.**


End file.
